Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Thursday, 3 June 2010

I'm back to my old hateful self just for you! oh, and requested by FRANN


Well either I'm making a sweeping assumption here or I read your mind and I'm saying that that there picture courtesy of homestarrunner.com (go there, it's pretty sweet) is no standard to mark of the end of the blog. I plan to make the rest of my life rather eventful and therefore keep it alive. No, it's a celebratory mark of the end of compulsary education! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! If we so chose, it would be civil freedom for us. We're young adults and after finally getting through what we would deem "all the boring pointless crap we had to learn for eleven years", we're deemed fit to face life by the people in the fancy business suits and rubbish ties they've probably had for years.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't all boring pointless crap. Years 1 to 3 were good, learning how to spell, double digit maths problems with mostly pluses and minuses (before that algebra bull**** came along) and how while it nice to be great, it's great to be nice (whatever that means, man, that's so deep even I can hardly grasp it's meaning) but everything else from Year 4 was just downhill from there. Somewhere down the line the hormones kick in and education is suddenly de-prioritised somewhat. Unless it's an exam. Gosh damn, doesn't it suck that they've crafted a way of making us learn that gets in the way of our social life! Why, to go forth and procreate to make genetically powerful offspring is our very purpose in life! And this powerful ***hole piece of paper comes along that we have to do right, or we are considered useless to hold down a job!

Now what is the point of these things? Can they not just add up our coursework over the year and say "Yep, good job over all Insert Name Here, we'll leave it at that. And uh... Insert Name Here? ......Good luck out there. Go get em." *powerful heartening outro music*

Wouldn't that be so much better? Instead they have to do this "Muckup McDumbass, I am most displeased with your choice not to co-operate with our methods of educating you in things you have total disinterest in! You are a manifestation of entropy and disorder to all the other perfectly intelligent life in my classroom, even the class cactus! Rather than throw you out with the rest of the trash like a normal person though, I'm going to give you one final unnecessary chance! You can do the exam, but if I see anthing lower than a U then you're history!" And surprise surprise, Muckup takes this one chance and scrapes through a very easy final chance to "redeem" himself. He then goes out and starts a reasonably successful burger-flipping joint. Out in the same wide world where we go when we pass our dumb exams. (wow lotta w-words here, Wallace.)

So with this system we're never free from having idiots in our life! What they should do is "Muckup, you're just that. A muckup. You've achieved nothing in your first two weeks at school and I'm thinking is this right for you?" "Ugh, uhflurghl can't be arsed sir this is gay an stupd." "Well, if you don't care about your future then I don't see it right that we should force you into it. Go on. Get outta here. See how long you can last out there. And uh... Muckup? ......Don't come crying to me when it all comes down on your head like a ton of bricks." *Oh, now go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now! Your not welcome anymore!* *OH SNAP* And the world, is a better place.

...What?

Hey, don't hate the player man, hate the game! (Not that I know what significance this has on my previous statement, but hey, you don't have to know that I have no idea what I'm talking about he--S***.) You'll have to forgive the HATIN', I was having a rather amusing conversation with a certain someone discontent with the ways of the world and I reverted to my old self, a hateful sunovagun who wanted to kill all stupid people and rule the universe.

I know right?


Ridiculous.

Now that I think of it, I guess for most of you viewers here (though I could be generalising here) this is no longer an issue, what with school being OVER and all that. But still, if only things could be different...

On that note, with compulary education gradually inching out of our lives (what with exams to finish and crap) we can get on with them in pleasant ways such as partying all night! Admittedly, I get tired awful quickly of it (three nights out in one week, whew!) but, hey, first-timer here, cut me some slack. I wasn't into that much before and it's hard to get into these things with a late start. I was quiet and suppressed back then. But now look at me! I have become something much greater than that now! And I LOVE IT!! *looses a mighty roar from the mountaintop and thunderstorms rage all around* Don't worry about your goats, folks. I'm pretty sure they're a hardly lot, with lightning-protardent fleece. Like you guys! Not that I mean to say that you're goats, but you Norfolk guys are like super strong! You could get violated by a car and shrug it off and come in fine the next day, seriously!

That's what I admire about you. That's why it's great to be with somebody. You guys are awesome! That's exactly why I plan to spend more time not under my roof, because while it's a nice roof, I can't see the open sky, and the sky's the limit! This is starting to sound pretty corny, but it feels good that the crap is sliding back into the darkness and the high life comes ever closer. That's what it's about!

Glad I seem to be back into blogging again. This turned out to be one hell of a post! Not like that weedy post down there! Look at it! Well, have to give myself credit for trying to keep it alive. Looks like I'm back into it now!

Well, I should probably go and rehydrate my vital systems. Been nice blogging to you all! Now, back to Starcraft.

Sunday, 7 March 2010

ASKGFSADGAFGD A NEAR WHOLE MONTH WITHOUT A BLOG POST?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEE

uwaaaaaah uwaaaah, oh I'm so fat and sad and fat and sad and I can think of fourty reasons why

HAH just kidding Jordy, now get back to your english classwork, Aaron thinks you're VERY IMMATURE >:V

Personal callouts aside, it's about time I got to making a new blog post seeing as so many people have been asking for it and that it's been so long. (probably 21 days, being the second half of February and the first week of March HURR I'm so smart when it comes to irrelevant information! :V)

Okay, first: let's talk about FRIEEEEEEENDSHIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!! (at this point rainbows pour out of my mouth in a powerful beam incinerating anything that happens to be in my way including a few unfortunate pigeons and the postman) .......Oops, sorry Pat.

Okay, maybe not exactly just friendship, I guess society in general. Stepping into the social limelight out of the blackness of the computer room, there has been a question I pose myself every once in a while (because I love confusing myself about things and pondering for ages, hence the name of the blog) which is: Am I Turning Into a Mindless Conformist? By that I mean, am I turning into a slave of society constantly trying to be as cool as possible by drinking, wasting away on expensive branded clothing and wanting to be as skinny as a toothpick? Gazemaze in gazemazement as I ponder away!



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nah.
Seriously though, I don't think the need to be 100% conforming with society will ever possess me and destroy me from within because I'm responsible. Heck, I haven't really reached ANY kind of social position where I need to be responsible. All I do is hang around certain people and receive little to no interaction, occasionally pitching in the "What's everyone doing tomorrow?" or "Has anyone played Duke Nukem before?" getting nothing more than a one word answer (two if I'm lucky) or just an awkward look that I can decipher as a negative response. Having not interacted with people for so long, I can understand I'm not exactly greeted like a king, and I have to work my way up the social ladder slowly, hoping for results. And if I try to make it happen hard enough, mabe I'll get it. Until then, no party invites for Ben. :'(

If I ever reach such a stage of society where I regularly go out with friends to the local chippy or what have you (and that would be REALLY awesome) you would beware the restrictions that I have placed on my life: I don't drink beverages of the alcoholic variety. That's right. I like to keep my brain in a usually mint condition and not kill my brain cells (which isn't exactly saying much since I watch Youtube Poops and other breeds of outright retarded junk). Besides, alcohol can mess you up, perhaps not to the degree of drugs like Heroin, Cocaine and Acid, but I like to play it safe. And hey, here's a thought; when I learn how to drive an auto-vehicle and I'm at a party, everyone else can drink because I'd always be the one bearing the oh-so-terrible (for the rest of you) alcohol-free title of Designated Driver! (I hope you're taking notes here party people, there's more benefits to me than meets the eye (man, I sure am typing in brackets a whole lot (I just noticed.)))

Okay, I can't just say "UMG YEW DRENK ALKOHOUL?!?!? WHAI WULD YU DO THAT I MEAN ITS STUPID!!!! BLARALRLARLAR PLOP", because anyway that's just whining about something that's been part of British culture for years. Heck, Mrs Spooner told me that. So I won't make any seething comments or assumptions on what you folks get up to without bringing me along. The point is that I won't take up crack from any old lowlife in a dark alley just to be cool, and I'll have to be using more convoluted and less self-destructive ways of becoming KING OF ALL METAL or whatever.

"Alright Mr Schmansy Fants," I hear you say (except maybe in a more intelligent fashion than that,) "What do you drink?" I drink Diet Coke. It works for me. It rots my teeth, but that's why we invented toothpaste. And there's no toothpaste to cure your hangover. That's that.

Another thing I've noticed is that human nature has a habit of looking at things and saying "I want to do something but it takes effort. I know, I wil INVENT A ROBOT THAT WILL DO IT FOR ME". By this I mean is that we are extremely lazy compared to how we were countless ages ago. As neanderthals, we had to go out and kill something in order to get food (or just eat bushes if we were vegetarian). Now, we have places like Tesco, Morrisons, ASDA, Aldi and countless emporiums to get our food from a cold shelf, rather than bearing its fangs and snarling at us (or being a bush). Okay, so that's a good thing, and I suppose that the whole point of technology is to make life easier for ourselves. But then, there are just some things that never should have come to see the light of day and stayed in the black abyss of mystery it arose from. I am of course talking about DRUGS. (subject change from alcohol to drugs? I can be more creative than that!)

I don't mean stuff like Paracetamol, Cocodamol and Strepsils: those are good drugs, they help us by curing headaches, sore throats and taking some suffering out of our lives until our eventual death. What I'm talking about are EVIL drugs. The drugs of the DARK SIDE. Cocaine, ecstacy, acid, heroin, and cigarretes. What is the point?

These drugs exploit our need to put our confidence in other things rather than ourselves (kind of like religion, except not drugs) and we throw away all hope of achieving anything as a human being for what exactly? To get high.

I have my faith in the power of a single human body: I bet you there is NOTHING we can risk our lives with through the use of other things that we can just as well accomplish with our own power or belief. Did you know that there is a medical technique called a placebo that doctors use to make their patients better just by making them THINK and believe that they're better? Drugs aren't necessary in our lives. The emotions that they cause us to experience is all within us to begin with, and if the people who had fallen into their trap didn't have to. There are much safer natural ways to receive a high, like falling in love or eating chocolate. That's right, chocolate and love gives you a high. Take it from me, I've read books in my time. Strange books, but the writers seem to know what they're on about.

That's all. (Need more jokes in my next post that will definitely be within the next 10-14 days or I will stab myself with a spoon)