Oi mates, it's Bin Peddock postin' frum Ostraaaaaleuh! Wei've jast gawt Internet workin at our 'Otel 'Partmint and Oi'm gunna git a powst 'bout Valintoimes Dai!
My God, I never realised how hard it was to type in a convincing Australian accent. I think I'll save myself the embarrassment and type normally now because I really don't think it's worth it. Anyhows, HI. Unlike my last post I actually have a subject to talk about (in fact two) so I should be able to plow through this. Oh but first this.
FUN FACT: I'm about to post this and decided to check the time and it says that it's 7:16 in the evening. I also see that on my brother's computer clock (who he's been to lazy to change to Australian time since we arrived) that for you guys in East Anglia right now the time is apparently about 11:16 am. Woah, does this mean I'm in the future? (I just updated this so that the joke on the next line made sense and I hadn't confused you by having the time about 44 minutes out and given you the time for when I completed and posted this.)
Anyway, you people of the past are probably slightly interested about my journey here. I may be mistaken, but I don't believe I am hated that much to assume that. Perhaps by myself, but not you guys. We arrived in Australia about 1 am on Saturday after three straight days of travelling from Wednesday. The whole travelling process was in about six steps. It went something like this:
1. Get to the taxi that drives you to the train station
2. Get a train at the train station to take you to the underground station
3. Take the underground train thingy at the underground station to ANOTHER TRAIN
Jeez, we're getting on a lot of vehicles here.
4. Take the OTHER TRAIN to the Airport Shuttle to take us to Gatwick Airport
Ugh.
5. Get the gosh-damned plane at Gatwick to fly us NOT to Australia, but to Dubai in Arabia that acts as a mid-point between the UK and Australia for some strange reason
JEEBUS CRIPES ARE WE THERE YET?!
Nearly! Just ten more hours on the Dubai flight!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Look, they gave you food and movies to watch for free!
The food tasted funny, kind of.
Oh, well that's probably you just being racist.
You're racist!
Your mom's a racist!
Oh that is it! Come get some you non-indented little Justin Bieber fanatic!
Oh no you didn't!
FIGHT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
NYAAAAAAAARGH
UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGARGAHGJKDA
*10 hours later*
(Fade in from black. Indented Text is banging Non-Indented Text's head against a desk)
DING! Welcome to Australia finally!
.........Yay! Come on Non-indented Text!
Uugh, my face...
Come on you! The Angels don't wait for slowpokes! La la la la la
Okay, that was off one hell of a tangent. Either way, the journey was long and aggravating and I never got to bang anyone's head against a desk, so it wasn't entertaining either. Well, I watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Wall-E and A Bug's Life which strangely enough was a movie that I watched as a dumb kid about every day for about 6 months that I still remembered hardly anything about. Those movies were good anyway but with a total of 18 hours plane journey with some baby crying and yelling for the whole BOTH plane journeys depriving me of sleep and the rest of my sanity, they didn't EXACTLY make up for it much.
But now I'm here and it's all good now because I never have to do that ever again oh wait a minute CRAPDAMNIT.
Well while we're here, we have a nice hotel room with ham and cereal and crap and a nice view that faces the Indian ocenan that we spent long grueling hours flying over, strangely enough. Our "body clocks" were shot to pieces from two sleepless nights on bloody planes and I ended up going to bed in the early afternoon of about four. The rest of us woke up about midnight to fireworks (that were obviously there to celebrate our arrival, hurr huurrrr) that also helped us because it woke us up so we could stay up a couple hours so that we could go to sleep again and wake up at a more appropriate time.
We've spent the day (that you people of the past have yet to experience o_O) going to a wildlife park to see all of Australia's weird-ass inhabitants such as the Wonga Pigeon, the Imperial Pigeon, the Crested Pigeon, Shut Up About Pigeons Ben, You Don't Want To Alert The Pigeon Boy Cultists By Resurfacing Your Interest In Pigeons, moving swiftly on, The Blue Tounged Lizard, the Pottoro, the Kangaroo, the Wallaby, the Dingo, the Koala, the Peacock, the Peahen, the Emu, the Wombat, the Spotted Quoll, the Casawary, and a multitude of parrots and a whole load of other stuff I can't possibly remember. But we have pictures that will be uploaded on Facebook shortly either on James' or my Facebook wall. Don't expect to see them now until I give the word later.
Oh bugger, this post was supposed to be about Valentine's Day. Let's cut this short since this has been one hell of a post.
Love. What does it mean? I dunno, it could mean a lot of things.
Well that's enough, bye now. GOD DAMMIT I'M JUST TOO LAZY.
Sunday, 14 February 2010
Thursday, 31 December 2009
On the brink of the New Year. Last post of '09!
Well, this is it. It's that time of year when the Earth completes another orbit around the Sun that we like to celebrate for some queer reason. I guess it's a time to look back at all the things that have happened over the year and think about how to better ourselves for the new year, making a fresh start.
365 days is a long, LONG time, possibly too long for me to remember every single thing I've achieved and lost, even with my memory of half a super-computer (my brother's being the other half), but I know I've still accomplished great things this year.
I've had a near-death experience (or at least an OH JESUS I'M FCKED experience) in a back garden swimming pool, I've pryed my flabby ass off the computers in F4 and started talking to people in school (although that ginger dude wasn't making it very easy) I've lost 11lbs since last year according to Wii Fit, I was verbally raped by a slavering retard minion summoned from the 9th circle of Hell to ask me which came first out of the egg and the chicken, and I watched as Miss Cox had a nervous breakdown when I told her that I didn't give half a barbecued camel foot about what I got for my Art exam grade and wanted to do what I wanted, rather than being ordered around by her and being forced to do my final piece TWICE because I hadn't "done a good smoke effect" or whatever her excuse was. Ah, it's been one hell of a 365-day planetary cycle. (That means year for those of you who don't speak technobabble.)
So, what's on the Awesome agenda for next year? Well, same old really. Lose some weight, get good grades, talk to people more, maybe get a girlfriend, and punch "Josh" in his stupid dumb face for setting that hellish maniac on me who I addressed in the last paragraph, among the rest of his legion of mindless Year 7-9 minions. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Ah, another thing to look to the future for is the release of some new vidjeo games! For 2010, StarCraft II after its half-year delay, and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 for Aaron and his crazy PS3 (crazily expensive, that is). I bet a whole bunch more of cool stuff is going to hit us next year, like Bioshock 2 and the like.
And for anyone else, I wish the best that the Fates can bring you for next year. Have a good New Year's Party, and don't get too boozed up and hurt yourself! It's so humiliating.
As for me, there's a Creme Egg sitting on my desk that is about to be imminently devoured. Oops, I already ate it. Way to kill the joke, Me.
Whatever, I'll just pretend I didn't and I'll just eat it again.
Here's to the new year! OM NOM NOM NOM
delicious.
365 days is a long, LONG time, possibly too long for me to remember every single thing I've achieved and lost, even with my memory of half a super-computer (my brother's being the other half), but I know I've still accomplished great things this year.
I've had a near-death experience (or at least an OH JESUS I'M FCKED experience) in a back garden swimming pool, I've pryed my flabby ass off the computers in F4 and started talking to people in school (although that ginger dude wasn't making it very easy) I've lost 11lbs since last year according to Wii Fit, I was verbally raped by a slavering retard minion summoned from the 9th circle of Hell to ask me which came first out of the egg and the chicken, and I watched as Miss Cox had a nervous breakdown when I told her that I didn't give half a barbecued camel foot about what I got for my Art exam grade and wanted to do what I wanted, rather than being ordered around by her and being forced to do my final piece TWICE because I hadn't "done a good smoke effect" or whatever her excuse was. Ah, it's been one hell of a 365-day planetary cycle. (That means year for those of you who don't speak technobabble.)
So, what's on the Awesome agenda for next year? Well, same old really. Lose some weight, get good grades, talk to people more, maybe get a girlfriend, and punch "Josh" in his stupid dumb face for setting that hellish maniac on me who I addressed in the last paragraph, among the rest of his legion of mindless Year 7-9 minions. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Ah, another thing to look to the future for is the release of some new vidjeo games! For 2010, StarCraft II after its half-year delay, and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 for Aaron and his crazy PS3 (crazily expensive, that is). I bet a whole bunch more of cool stuff is going to hit us next year, like Bioshock 2 and the like.
And for anyone else, I wish the best that the Fates can bring you for next year. Have a good New Year's Party, and don't get too boozed up and hurt yourself! It's so humiliating.
As for me, there's a Creme Egg sitting on my desk that is about to be imminently devoured. Oops, I already ate it. Way to kill the joke, Me.
Whatever, I'll just pretend I didn't and I'll just eat it again.
Here's to the new year! OM NOM NOM NOM
delicious.
Friday, 18 December 2009
Obligatory Christmas Post to keep the blog alive
SCHOOOOOOOOL'S OUT - FOR - CHRISTMAS!
SCHOOOOOOOOL'S OUT - FOR - TWO WEEKS!
MY SCHOOL'S - CLOSED DOWN, WITH - SNOWIIING...
Okay, enough Alice Cooper. It's Christmas, and the holy wards of Christmas spirit have driven away the evils of school for the time being. That, and Kathryn made a really cool snowman.
Well, what's been up? Nothing much as usual over here in my world, as I mostly made this blog to try and get into the habit of posting on this here blog on a regular basis, and keep you all informed on what mildy interesting topics I feel have to share with all of you, and to jump on the "HAY GUYS IN CASE YOU DIDENT NOTICE IT'S CHRISTMAS ETC ETC ETC" bandwagon, but I guess I could talk about my 6th form options and how something was meant to hapen today but Springwood had to freeze over like a total dumbass. That'll do.
So, I picked out my 6th form options and they would be Performing Arts, History and Media Studies. I have defected from dull and irrepressibly drab and awful Drama for the following reason, typed out to you in script form:
Ben: Oh man oh man oh man I can't decide between Drama and Performing Arts and I need this piece of paper in by next Thursday!
Ben's Inner Reason: Hold up tough guy. Why don't you review the details in the booklets?
Ben: WHOAH WHO THE HELL ARE YOU
Ben's Inner Reason: <-- Read that.
Ben: Oh. Hi, Ben's Inner Reason. Also, good idea.
(Ben reads through the Drama booklet, coloured in black and grey)
Ben: (reading) "Drama is a subject in which pupils can study Drama from a variety of views, such as" WAIT. (goes back a little and reads it again) "...in which pupils can, STUDY, Drama, in..."
(...pause...)
Ben: OH MY GOOOOD, SCREW THAT!
(throws Drama booklet at the wall. It explodes in a flash of magnificent colours like a fireworks display. It spells out Eat at Joe's)
Ben: Okay let's see what Performing Arts is all about.
(the Performing Arts booklet takes the form of an extremely buff dude made of gold)
Performing Arts: HAY. YOU DUNNO WHAT SUBJECT YOU WANNA PICK, FOO?!
Ben: Well yeah, but uh...
PA: NO WAIT, SHUT UP A SECOND AIGHT?
Ben: Uh, ok.
PA: YOU REMEMBER THAT PERFORMANCE YOU DID AT THE CORN EXCHANGE? WINTER'S TALE? BLEW EVERYONE'S SOCKS OFF? THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL NO-ONE ABOUT IT COS YOU WERE AN IGNORANT FATASS?!
Ben: yes.
PA: YOU SHOULD PICK ME AS A SUBJECT! THAT'S WHERE ALL THE ACTION IS! YOU DON'T GET NO WRITTEN WORK OR STUDYIN' OR ESSAYS OR NOTHIN'! YOU'RE JUST ACTIN' ON STAGE LIKE IN WINTER'S TALE, TEARIN SHIZ UP AN' STUFF!
Ben: Sounds good to me.
PA: DAAAMN RIGHT MY WHITE PERSON
Ben: Would you quit talking in all caps? My viewer's reading voices in their heads are screaming.
PA: Yeah ok, sorry.
Ben: But thanks for making my decision a lot easier anyhow.
PA: Salright.
(PA turns back into a booklet. Ben stares at him for a second then grins evilly. He takes PA and puts him in the paper shredder)
PA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ben: (relaxed and grinning to himself) This settles things.
(loud applause. Ben bows and goes to the podium to collect his Awesome Award)
Ben Stiller (applauding in the audience): He's earned it.
Tom Cruise (next to Ben Stiller in the audience): I'll say.
Bloody hell, that was vain. Anyhow, that's what I picked for my options. For anyone else running away with me, I must say you made an excellent choice and I look forward to seeing you in 6th Form! If not and you're stay with Drama, good luck anyway with all the long and drawn-out boring essays and studying of what I should have been doing on stage all this time. On that note, good luck also to everyone in rehearsals for Kinetic and the Siege! Too bad I couldn't be there with you, but I guess something's always in the way of something I want to be a part of. For example, a lack of cash gets in the way of me wanting to be a part of having a Playstation 3!
Ah, the demands of a simple man. Why are they never met?
SCHOOOOOOOOL'S OUT - FOR - TWO WEEKS!
MY SCHOOL'S - CLOSED DOWN, WITH - SNOWIIING...
Okay, enough Alice Cooper. It's Christmas, and the holy wards of Christmas spirit have driven away the evils of school for the time being. That, and Kathryn made a really cool snowman.
Well, what's been up? Nothing much as usual over here in my world, as I mostly made this blog to try and get into the habit of posting on this here blog on a regular basis, and keep you all informed on what mildy interesting topics I feel have to share with all of you, and to jump on the "HAY GUYS IN CASE YOU DIDENT NOTICE IT'S CHRISTMAS ETC ETC ETC" bandwagon, but I guess I could talk about my 6th form options and how something was meant to hapen today but Springwood had to freeze over like a total dumbass. That'll do.
So, I picked out my 6th form options and they would be Performing Arts, History and Media Studies. I have defected from dull and irrepressibly drab and awful Drama for the following reason, typed out to you in script form:
Ben: Oh man oh man oh man I can't decide between Drama and Performing Arts and I need this piece of paper in by next Thursday!
Ben's Inner Reason: Hold up tough guy. Why don't you review the details in the booklets?
Ben: WHOAH WHO THE HELL ARE YOU
Ben's Inner Reason: <-- Read that.
Ben: Oh. Hi, Ben's Inner Reason. Also, good idea.
(Ben reads through the Drama booklet, coloured in black and grey)
Ben: (reading) "Drama is a subject in which pupils can study Drama from a variety of views, such as" WAIT. (goes back a little and reads it again) "...in which pupils can, STUDY, Drama, in..."
(...pause...)
Ben: OH MY GOOOOD, SCREW THAT!
(throws Drama booklet at the wall. It explodes in a flash of magnificent colours like a fireworks display. It spells out Eat at Joe's)
Ben: Okay let's see what Performing Arts is all about.
(the Performing Arts booklet takes the form of an extremely buff dude made of gold)
Performing Arts: HAY. YOU DUNNO WHAT SUBJECT YOU WANNA PICK, FOO?!
Ben: Well yeah, but uh...
PA: NO WAIT, SHUT UP A SECOND AIGHT?
Ben: Uh, ok.
PA: YOU REMEMBER THAT PERFORMANCE YOU DID AT THE CORN EXCHANGE? WINTER'S TALE? BLEW EVERYONE'S SOCKS OFF? THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL NO-ONE ABOUT IT COS YOU WERE AN IGNORANT FATASS?!
Ben: yes.
PA: YOU SHOULD PICK ME AS A SUBJECT! THAT'S WHERE ALL THE ACTION IS! YOU DON'T GET NO WRITTEN WORK OR STUDYIN' OR ESSAYS OR NOTHIN'! YOU'RE JUST ACTIN' ON STAGE LIKE IN WINTER'S TALE, TEARIN SHIZ UP AN' STUFF!
Ben: Sounds good to me.
PA: DAAAMN RIGHT MY WHITE PERSON
Ben: Would you quit talking in all caps? My viewer's reading voices in their heads are screaming.
PA: Yeah ok, sorry.
Ben: But thanks for making my decision a lot easier anyhow.
PA: Salright.
(PA turns back into a booklet. Ben stares at him for a second then grins evilly. He takes PA and puts him in the paper shredder)
PA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ben: (relaxed and grinning to himself) This settles things.
(loud applause. Ben bows and goes to the podium to collect his Awesome Award)
Ben Stiller (applauding in the audience): He's earned it.
Tom Cruise (next to Ben Stiller in the audience): I'll say.
Bloody hell, that was vain. Anyhow, that's what I picked for my options. For anyone else running away with me, I must say you made an excellent choice and I look forward to seeing you in 6th Form! If not and you're stay with Drama, good luck anyway with all the long and drawn-out boring essays and studying of what I should have been doing on stage all this time. On that note, good luck also to everyone in rehearsals for Kinetic and the Siege! Too bad I couldn't be there with you, but I guess something's always in the way of something I want to be a part of. For example, a lack of cash gets in the way of me wanting to be a part of having a Playstation 3!
Ah, the demands of a simple man. Why are they never met?
Monday, 14 December 2009
Hello, Internet!
Welcome to my blog, feeble mortals! Now you are in MY realm and you are at my complete mercy! Mwahahahahaha!
On second thought, make yourselves at home. Those of you who show interest in my occasional day-to-day rantings about whatever I can rant about (you strange chaps) can view my vast digital inscriptions of rage-fuelled logical scrutiny here, since Facebook posts usually don't last long on the News Feed without being pushed down to page 50 under the oceans of "lol jedward", "OMG my weekend was so fun" and "Tarnation! I stubbed yonder little toenail against the savagery of my bathroom wall" comments about nothing in particular (no offence...) and so on and so forth till the end of eternity.
I'll also be posting some boredom-induced DrawPlus 8 Animations and other things, you know, whenever I feel the need that "oh good golly wowsers Ben this is the greatest thing in all of greatdom! You must show this to your pals on yonder Interweb and share the amusement for all to see!".
Now it's past my bedtime and I need to be sleeping right now. Just come here occasionally and witness the power of my eccentric ponderings herein. I'll most likely post updates on FasheBouk. Until then, Merry Almost Christmas and to all a good nights rest with which to be ready for those God damn Mock Exams!
On second thought, make yourselves at home. Those of you who show interest in my occasional day-to-day rantings about whatever I can rant about (you strange chaps) can view my vast digital inscriptions of rage-fuelled logical scrutiny here, since Facebook posts usually don't last long on the News Feed without being pushed down to page 50 under the oceans of "lol jedward", "OMG my weekend was so fun" and "Tarnation! I stubbed yonder little toenail against the savagery of my bathroom wall" comments about nothing in particular (no offence...) and so on and so forth till the end of eternity.
I'll also be posting some boredom-induced DrawPlus 8 Animations and other things, you know, whenever I feel the need that "oh good golly wowsers Ben this is the greatest thing in all of greatdom! You must show this to your pals on yonder Interweb and share the amusement for all to see!".
Now it's past my bedtime and I need to be sleeping right now. Just come here occasionally and witness the power of my eccentric ponderings herein. I'll most likely post updates on FasheBouk. Until then, Merry Almost Christmas and to all a good nights rest with which to be ready for those God damn Mock Exams!
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