You ever listen to that part in the Lion King about the Circle of Life? I think there's some philosphical value in that. (I know, right? In Disney?! WAHT?>!?!") Yep. Life is a circle. Just like the Earth's eternal (or at least for a few billion years) journey around our Sun. There's a Light Side of its orbit with long sunny days and blue skies, even if it's still raining all year round they should at least be there somewhere and that's comforting enough for me. Then there's the Dark Side of doom and gloom, pitch black afternoons, car accidents, and the damn perishing cold that requires three layers of shirts, two pairs of gloves, a log fire, and a year's supply of hot soup just to stave off for a single evening.
You know what we need? Hot Soup Bottles. Like Hot Water Bottles that went out of fashion in the 1990's that are full of soup, so once you're warmed through and you get hungry you can then eat the soup. That would be so rad.
I introduce to you The Random Quote From Nowhere. I think of something awesome and just put it in cool quote-majiggies for you to stare at with a face that appears to be a mix of bafflement and pity.
Anyway, Life is STILL a circle. Moving back on topic, Halloween was originally thought up by the Celts that marked the end of the Light Side (Summer) and the beginning of the Dark Side (Crappiness) and the idea was that all the angels and nice things looking after Earth - keeping it as reasonably pleasant as you can get for England - spontaneously buggered off to the celestial bar and left the demons and creatures of the night to take over half of their shift who proceeded to make everything dark and horrible. In the absence of Teh Science, it was a pretty solid idea.
Funny how I think that the Ancient Greek, Egyptian and Norse mythologies were freaking awesome, but anything that became a major religion or was established after the Big Bang Theory sounded ridiculous and stupid. Maybe the way I see it, the Vikings had an excuse to make stuff up because Teh Science wasn't invented? Maybe I'm just a judgemental git whom you shouldn't pay any mind. Your choice.
My life is certainly a circle. It's a number of circles in fact. There's a circle for whether moments in my life seem awkward to me or are completely alright. There's a circle for whether I feel like the loneliest guy in the world or someone's there, or I'm fine to just accompany myself through it all. There's a circle for whether I feel like I'm making the right decisions and keeping everything under control, or I need to get a grip on things and not be a dropout. Life's full of ups and downs, and you can guarantee that things never go the same way forever. Things change. It can take an instant or an eternity. But that's Time, a different matter that is strangely similar as well.
The point is that the one thing you can count on with life is that you can never count on it to go your way all the time, or put something good into your lap when you feel like it. But you can take control and force it to when things go astray, and however long it takes, it will be worth it as long as you don't abandon your cause but not go too far either. A balancing act where you can't determine where it's turning other than with your instinct.
Oh dear, I'm getting awfully philosophical. If I'd had a better day at school I would have whipped up something like this instead:
Once upon a time I was walking home from the Emporium of People Who Are Awesome And Stuff when a giant fridge fell out of the sky and landed in front of me. It grew a face and looked at me. It's face looked very angry. "Who are you?" I asked it. "TO WIN THE GAME, YOU MUST DEFEAT ME, TEH EBIL FRIDGE" it said in a cool robot voice. "Oh ok," I said. "But in a second, I have to fly to Canada on my Hoverboard made out of pigeons to get some oranges." "YOU WON'T RUN FROM ME!" It shouted and opened it huge mouth and shot thousands of razor sharp ice cubes at me as I took to the air. It punctured all my pigeons and they deflated and flopped into a sad heap. "I didn't appreciate that!" I shouted as I saw my awesome Vintage Pigeonboard in the state it was. "That's it! I'm taking you to the Big Curry's Store in the Sky, pal!" And I charged my lazer.
Just then it called its buddies to throw me off. They were a Washing Machine and a flying Blender. Using my knowledge of "How to Deal with Evil Appliances", the handy Internet guide for this very specific occasion, I wasn't afraid. The Blender sailed towards me ready to lovingly rearrange my face, but at the last moment I sello-taped my trusty Brick of Justice to my nose which got stuck in the Blender instead. As the Blender sizzled and sparked, spiralling out of control, I launched it into the open door of the Washing Machine with a spectacular kick that would put the entire England football team to shame. The Washing Machine fell apart in an awesome way and Teh Ebil Fridge's minions were defeated.
"DAMN YOU" Teh Ebil Fridge shouted. "NO!" I responded. "Damn YOU! Your stupid metal ass is making me late for my dinner. And it's Spaghetti Bolognase today!!!" I roared. Teh Ebil Fridge was taken aback but readied its next formidable attack.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?!?!?!? Tune in to the next exciting episode of The Ponderings of Ben Paddock! Which I swear I will make soon.
