Wednesday 17 March 2010

Requested by Northy. NO YOU CAN'T HAVE A CREATIVE POST TITLE

BRIEF DIARY OF PAST TEN DAYS GO

7th March: Okay, there's the new blog post. Hey, someone made a request for what the next post should be about! I think I'll surprise everyone and make another blog post tomorrow! MWAHAHAHA!

9th March: Oops, I missed it. Well, I'll get it done by the end of the week.

9th-13th March: Can't be arsed.

14th March: I really need to update but I'm still in the state of not being arsed.

17th March: Ok forget it. Time to get my arsed-being back.

Here you go already. So first of all I was expecting all the exciting junk to be happening in about 3 months time, as the prom is. So when I got the letter for the Alton Towers trip and saw that it was so soon, I was like "OH EM GEEZ MAN I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT!!!!;@#-" and proceeded to blast through SAMLearning trying to accumulate 3 hours on each subject I've taken including cores. In the space of five minutes. I didn't get very far. However, the letter basically says "meh whatevs you can go" so it hasn't seemed to have made despite this, then no complaints here! And what a load of good it was in the first place, I might add. It must have been the teachers' latest mad scheme to get us wasting our time in much less resourceful ways than playing on online games at every opportunity we can get.

As for the prom, why have so many people started planning for it? I mean, forward planning is good and all, but two months in advance? Unless CNN has said that a temporal distortion will suddenly flush the rest of March and the whole of April down the cosmic toilet bringing us straight into May, why plan so far ahead? Buuut, who am I to judge? I can hardly plan getting Art coursework done over a single weekend. Not that that bothers me too much. It's all a matter of being arsed, really, am I am terrible at being arsed. You know what else I suck at? NOT SUCKING. :D ...... Wow, I confused everyone for a second there. Felt good.

Last thing: THE WORLD AIN'T GONNA END IN 2012. This is for a number of reasons:

1) 2012 is when I finish 6th form. If the world ends I will have wasted my life. NOT ON MY WATCH. I WOULD TRACK DOWN THIS MYSTERIOUS CAUSE TO THE END OF THE WORLD HEADBUTT IT IN THE FACE. WE'RE ALL SAVED. THE END.

2) Who the hell believes a 9000-year-old or whatever calender that states that the world will end? Okay, so maybe their previous end-of-the-world dates were accurate enough (that's right, they had SEVERAL) but they were only about the fall of the Roman Empire and such things, the world essentially never EXPLODED according to them, unlike in that BOAWSHIZ movie that the same dude who made Independence Day is working on. Nuts to him, I bet he just has a fetish for blowing up American landmarks and makes entire shoddy movies about it. Yeah, I'd headbutt him in the face too. THE END. What a complete waste of money I must add: making a whole movie based on a complete LIE. That's like making a movie about the Abominable Snowman, or the Loch Ness Monster.

Heck, if anything we should be worried about 2015; that's when our old friend 1991AD comes along. Or whatever it's called. You know, the one that zoomed past Earth juring the Japan World Cup that no-one cared about despite it threatened our very exidtence with another Ice Age?........ Ugh, hold on..... *Googles* What the... I can't even find it! God dammit, everyone's too busy watching football and whining about what will apparently happen in 2012 to see the actual danger!

Eh, never mind, there's only a 1/300 chance of collision, so never mind, continue not caring. As will I.

Good night.

Sunday 7 March 2010

ASKGFSADGAFGD A NEAR WHOLE MONTH WITHOUT A BLOG POST?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEE

uwaaaaaah uwaaaah, oh I'm so fat and sad and fat and sad and I can think of fourty reasons why

HAH just kidding Jordy, now get back to your english classwork, Aaron thinks you're VERY IMMATURE >:V

Personal callouts aside, it's about time I got to making a new blog post seeing as so many people have been asking for it and that it's been so long. (probably 21 days, being the second half of February and the first week of March HURR I'm so smart when it comes to irrelevant information! :V)

Okay, first: let's talk about FRIEEEEEEENDSHIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!! (at this point rainbows pour out of my mouth in a powerful beam incinerating anything that happens to be in my way including a few unfortunate pigeons and the postman) .......Oops, sorry Pat.

Okay, maybe not exactly just friendship, I guess society in general. Stepping into the social limelight out of the blackness of the computer room, there has been a question I pose myself every once in a while (because I love confusing myself about things and pondering for ages, hence the name of the blog) which is: Am I Turning Into a Mindless Conformist? By that I mean, am I turning into a slave of society constantly trying to be as cool as possible by drinking, wasting away on expensive branded clothing and wanting to be as skinny as a toothpick? Gazemaze in gazemazement as I ponder away!



...
...
...
...
...



nah.
Seriously though, I don't think the need to be 100% conforming with society will ever possess me and destroy me from within because I'm responsible. Heck, I haven't really reached ANY kind of social position where I need to be responsible. All I do is hang around certain people and receive little to no interaction, occasionally pitching in the "What's everyone doing tomorrow?" or "Has anyone played Duke Nukem before?" getting nothing more than a one word answer (two if I'm lucky) or just an awkward look that I can decipher as a negative response. Having not interacted with people for so long, I can understand I'm not exactly greeted like a king, and I have to work my way up the social ladder slowly, hoping for results. And if I try to make it happen hard enough, mabe I'll get it. Until then, no party invites for Ben. :'(

If I ever reach such a stage of society where I regularly go out with friends to the local chippy or what have you (and that would be REALLY awesome) you would beware the restrictions that I have placed on my life: I don't drink beverages of the alcoholic variety. That's right. I like to keep my brain in a usually mint condition and not kill my brain cells (which isn't exactly saying much since I watch Youtube Poops and other breeds of outright retarded junk). Besides, alcohol can mess you up, perhaps not to the degree of drugs like Heroin, Cocaine and Acid, but I like to play it safe. And hey, here's a thought; when I learn how to drive an auto-vehicle and I'm at a party, everyone else can drink because I'd always be the one bearing the oh-so-terrible (for the rest of you) alcohol-free title of Designated Driver! (I hope you're taking notes here party people, there's more benefits to me than meets the eye (man, I sure am typing in brackets a whole lot (I just noticed.)))

Okay, I can't just say "UMG YEW DRENK ALKOHOUL?!?!? WHAI WULD YU DO THAT I MEAN ITS STUPID!!!! BLARALRLARLAR PLOP", because anyway that's just whining about something that's been part of British culture for years. Heck, Mrs Spooner told me that. So I won't make any seething comments or assumptions on what you folks get up to without bringing me along. The point is that I won't take up crack from any old lowlife in a dark alley just to be cool, and I'll have to be using more convoluted and less self-destructive ways of becoming KING OF ALL METAL or whatever.

"Alright Mr Schmansy Fants," I hear you say (except maybe in a more intelligent fashion than that,) "What do you drink?" I drink Diet Coke. It works for me. It rots my teeth, but that's why we invented toothpaste. And there's no toothpaste to cure your hangover. That's that.

Another thing I've noticed is that human nature has a habit of looking at things and saying "I want to do something but it takes effort. I know, I wil INVENT A ROBOT THAT WILL DO IT FOR ME". By this I mean is that we are extremely lazy compared to how we were countless ages ago. As neanderthals, we had to go out and kill something in order to get food (or just eat bushes if we were vegetarian). Now, we have places like Tesco, Morrisons, ASDA, Aldi and countless emporiums to get our food from a cold shelf, rather than bearing its fangs and snarling at us (or being a bush). Okay, so that's a good thing, and I suppose that the whole point of technology is to make life easier for ourselves. But then, there are just some things that never should have come to see the light of day and stayed in the black abyss of mystery it arose from. I am of course talking about DRUGS. (subject change from alcohol to drugs? I can be more creative than that!)

I don't mean stuff like Paracetamol, Cocodamol and Strepsils: those are good drugs, they help us by curing headaches, sore throats and taking some suffering out of our lives until our eventual death. What I'm talking about are EVIL drugs. The drugs of the DARK SIDE. Cocaine, ecstacy, acid, heroin, and cigarretes. What is the point?

These drugs exploit our need to put our confidence in other things rather than ourselves (kind of like religion, except not drugs) and we throw away all hope of achieving anything as a human being for what exactly? To get high.

I have my faith in the power of a single human body: I bet you there is NOTHING we can risk our lives with through the use of other things that we can just as well accomplish with our own power or belief. Did you know that there is a medical technique called a placebo that doctors use to make their patients better just by making them THINK and believe that they're better? Drugs aren't necessary in our lives. The emotions that they cause us to experience is all within us to begin with, and if the people who had fallen into their trap didn't have to. There are much safer natural ways to receive a high, like falling in love or eating chocolate. That's right, chocolate and love gives you a high. Take it from me, I've read books in my time. Strange books, but the writers seem to know what they're on about.

That's all. (Need more jokes in my next post that will definitely be within the next 10-14 days or I will stab myself with a spoon)