*applies a defibriator unit to the Blog*
Blog... can you hear me? Blog, talk to me. Blog? Oh thank god. .............
How did being dead feel like? You know, just so I know the procedure, in case a car comes down Queensway a little too fast one unfortunate school afternoon... Oh never mind, that'll never happen.
After all, there's about two weeks left of the official school term and I don't intend to let my road sense get any sloppier. On that note, exams are coming (D=) and then the prom (=D) which I haven't done much preparing for (D=<) but then official civil freedom for about six weeks (=D) before Sixth Form pulls me back in (D=). Well, everything becomes voluntary after Secondary School so it's my own fault (¬.¬).
On THAT note (for reals this time, I won't stray from the point again I swear), there's a lot of work to be done in not a lot of time. Revision! Something I should be doing right now. But since I'm always trying to be as gentlemanly as possible to everyone (and unfortunately dismally fail at that for some people) I have applied a defib unit to the blog and have decided to give you more meaningless information about myself and very experimental humour whereas I don't even know whether you're laughing at it or not. Because I'm staring at my computer screen, and you're not there with me. It's kind of scary now that I think about it. But anyways DAMN, I STRAYED FROM THE POINT AGAIN. Oh well, if I hadn't said that you probably would have been too interested to notice, so BUGGER.
As you can tell I haven't really been thinking about anything in particular to Blog about. Just, current affairs. Just about nothing has really happened in my life that has crossed the "Interesting Enough To Blog About" border as of yet. Seems border patrol security there has been as water-tight as a mermaid's brassiere. But looks like with revision, exams and the end of year on the approach, that, probably makes it through.
So how's everyone doing with that stuff? As for me, the same applies with that at pretty much everything I might hear you talking about during breaks: "I Haven't An Awful Lot To Relate To On That Subject". Yeah, I've been pretty lazy with revision and prom arrangements, so BUGGER. Hopefully though I'll get my ass in gear at some point and throw enough at these matters to make it count and get some decent grades/social recognition as a splendidly interesting d00d.
Well, sitting here typing gibberish for half an hour won't get me either of those, so I'll call it a day for now. ...What? It's been about 38 days since I posted one of these so cut me some slack, I've gone a bit rusty. Plus with the whole "Not a Lot to Blog About Crisis in Blogtown" crisis in Blogtown, I believe I've done a satisfactory job in terms of typing stuff that is still kind of interesting. And amusting. ....Interestmusing?
Okay, that word is so interestmusing that it just got promoted to the Blog's new 'fficial catchphrase. That's my decision and you can't change it so there. But if you like it the GOOD. Play right into my hands....
Errr, eh? Oh, never mind. Cya.
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Friday, 9 April 2010
These are changing times.... (Also, so much for REGULAR posting )
Friends (and other people who seem to read my blog anyway), I have a very srs topic to discuss. So srs that I am using an abbreviation of "serious" that you've probably never heard of. Which is srs. But this is a civilised blog post here, not an IM so never mind, I'll probably not even say that at any other point in this post.
Unfunny irrelevant comments aside, I have spent the last week or so sleeping in my new bedroom. The third bedroom I've been moved into since we moved in. That's right. IN THE SAME HOUSE. Here, I'll DrawPlus you a picture:
Notice how each time I am moved I am further away from my own bathroom. That's the burden of living in a glomping massive house. I understand that it's not exactly on such a scale as Mali children experience, having to walk five miles a day for a drop of moist mud or however bad they have it at the moment, I'm not really one to complain.
I have also spent the last week helping with painting several rooms on that floor. The reason for this is that we want to make it look presentable. If you haven't guessed by now, we're going to sell this mutha.
Now, this doesn't mean I am going to disappear forever. No, that's when we permanently emigrate to Australia in 2012. Aaron will become lonely and eventually (even more) insane and will kill everyone with explosive MG4 rounds, and an assortment of kitchen appliances with the word "tactical" in front of them. That is how the world will end. Take note of this and be sure to invest in an explosive round resistant kevlar vest and something to keep a Tactical Sieve drom killing you somehow.
Okay so maybe that won't happen, but the Australia bit is definitely happening. You can still avail yourself to me for the next two years, providing you're taking sixth form. We'll move in with someone hopefully closer to the school where the window of social interaction is a little more open and a little less stuck. As of now, I'm in the middle of nowhere, a twenty minute car journey from ANYWHERE. Okay, so my Mum can drive me around, but it could still be much easier. And making it easier is what we're going to attempt. Maybe we'll be better off. It's hard to say at this point.
Regarding school, well, this is our last half term you'l be able to see me, so make the most of it, because one day you'll be all like: "Damn, I wish I had invited that Ben dude to more of my parties." Actually that was a lie. As I already explained I'll still be here for two more years. You still can! And I'll try to make an effort to show my face around here a little more often so you have more than a reason to invite me rather than some delusional former belief of mine that "you should feel priveliged that I am here for five minutes so often and if this doesn't make you think of me more than you are all terrible people and I hate the entire infinity of creation, blarharararararaaaag plop". Boy have I come a long way since then.
Unfunny irrelevant comments aside, I have spent the last week or so sleeping in my new bedroom. The third bedroom I've been moved into since we moved in. That's right. IN THE SAME HOUSE. Here, I'll DrawPlus you a picture:
Notice how each time I am moved I am further away from my own bathroom. That's the burden of living in a glomping massive house. I understand that it's not exactly on such a scale as Mali children experience, having to walk five miles a day for a drop of moist mud or however bad they have it at the moment, I'm not really one to complain.
I have also spent the last week helping with painting several rooms on that floor. The reason for this is that we want to make it look presentable. If you haven't guessed by now, we're going to sell this mutha.
Now, this doesn't mean I am going to disappear forever. No, that's when we permanently emigrate to Australia in 2012. Aaron will become lonely and eventually (even more) insane and will kill everyone with explosive MG4 rounds, and an assortment of kitchen appliances with the word "tactical" in front of them. That is how the world will end. Take note of this and be sure to invest in an explosive round resistant kevlar vest and something to keep a Tactical Sieve drom killing you somehow.
Okay so maybe that won't happen, but the Australia bit is definitely happening. You can still avail yourself to me for the next two years, providing you're taking sixth form. We'll move in with someone hopefully closer to the school where the window of social interaction is a little more open and a little less stuck. As of now, I'm in the middle of nowhere, a twenty minute car journey from ANYWHERE. Okay, so my Mum can drive me around, but it could still be much easier. And making it easier is what we're going to attempt. Maybe we'll be better off. It's hard to say at this point.
Regarding school, well, this is our last half term you'l be able to see me, so make the most of it, because one day you'll be all like: "Damn, I wish I had invited that Ben dude to more of my parties." Actually that was a lie. As I already explained I'll still be here for two more years. You still can! And I'll try to make an effort to show my face around here a little more often so you have more than a reason to invite me rather than some delusional former belief of mine that "you should feel priveliged that I am here for five minutes so often and if this doesn't make you think of me more than you are all terrible people and I hate the entire infinity of creation, blarharararararaaaag plop". Boy have I come a long way since then.
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
Requested by Northy. NO YOU CAN'T HAVE A CREATIVE POST TITLE
BRIEF DIARY OF PAST TEN DAYS GO
7th March: Okay, there's the new blog post. Hey, someone made a request for what the next post should be about! I think I'll surprise everyone and make another blog post tomorrow! MWAHAHAHA!
9th March: Oops, I missed it. Well, I'll get it done by the end of the week.
9th-13th March: Can't be arsed.
14th March: I really need to update but I'm still in the state of not being arsed.
17th March: Ok forget it. Time to get my arsed-being back.
Here you go already. So first of all I was expecting all the exciting junk to be happening in about 3 months time, as the prom is. So when I got the letter for the Alton Towers trip and saw that it was so soon, I was like "OH EM GEEZ MAN I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT!!!!;@#-" and proceeded to blast through SAMLearning trying to accumulate 3 hours on each subject I've taken including cores. In the space of five minutes. I didn't get very far. However, the letter basically says "meh whatevs you can go" so it hasn't seemed to have made despite this, then no complaints here! And what a load of good it was in the first place, I might add. It must have been the teachers' latest mad scheme to get us wasting our time in much less resourceful ways than playing on online games at every opportunity we can get.
As for the prom, why have so many people started planning for it? I mean, forward planning is good and all, but two months in advance? Unless CNN has said that a temporal distortion will suddenly flush the rest of March and the whole of April down the cosmic toilet bringing us straight into May, why plan so far ahead? Buuut, who am I to judge? I can hardly plan getting Art coursework done over a single weekend. Not that that bothers me too much. It's all a matter of being arsed, really, am I am terrible at being arsed. You know what else I suck at? NOT SUCKING. :D ...... Wow, I confused everyone for a second there. Felt good.
Last thing: THE WORLD AIN'T GONNA END IN 2012. This is for a number of reasons:
1) 2012 is when I finish 6th form. If the world ends I will have wasted my life. NOT ON MY WATCH. I WOULD TRACK DOWN THIS MYSTERIOUS CAUSE TO THE END OF THE WORLD HEADBUTT IT IN THE FACE. WE'RE ALL SAVED. THE END.
2) Who the hell believes a 9000-year-old or whatever calender that states that the world will end? Okay, so maybe their previous end-of-the-world dates were accurate enough (that's right, they had SEVERAL) but they were only about the fall of the Roman Empire and such things, the world essentially never EXPLODED according to them, unlike in that BOAWSHIZ movie that the same dude who made Independence Day is working on. Nuts to him, I bet he just has a fetish for blowing up American landmarks and makes entire shoddy movies about it. Yeah, I'd headbutt him in the face too. THE END. What a complete waste of money I must add: making a whole movie based on a complete LIE. That's like making a movie about the Abominable Snowman, or the Loch Ness Monster.
Heck, if anything we should be worried about 2015; that's when our old friend 1991AD comes along. Or whatever it's called. You know, the one that zoomed past Earth juring the Japan World Cup that no-one cared about despite it threatened our very exidtence with another Ice Age?........ Ugh, hold on..... *Googles* What the... I can't even find it! God dammit, everyone's too busy watching football and whining about what will apparently happen in 2012 to see the actual danger!
Eh, never mind, there's only a 1/300 chance of collision, so never mind, continue not caring. As will I.
Good night.
7th March: Okay, there's the new blog post. Hey, someone made a request for what the next post should be about! I think I'll surprise everyone and make another blog post tomorrow! MWAHAHAHA!
9th March: Oops, I missed it. Well, I'll get it done by the end of the week.
9th-13th March: Can't be arsed.
14th March: I really need to update but I'm still in the state of not being arsed.
17th March: Ok forget it. Time to get my arsed-being back.
Here you go already. So first of all I was expecting all the exciting junk to be happening in about 3 months time, as the prom is. So when I got the letter for the Alton Towers trip and saw that it was so soon, I was like "OH EM GEEZ MAN I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT!!!!;@#-" and proceeded to blast through SAMLearning trying to accumulate 3 hours on each subject I've taken including cores. In the space of five minutes. I didn't get very far. However, the letter basically says "meh whatevs you can go" so it hasn't seemed to have made despite this, then no complaints here! And what a load of good it was in the first place, I might add. It must have been the teachers' latest mad scheme to get us wasting our time in much less resourceful ways than playing on online games at every opportunity we can get.
As for the prom, why have so many people started planning for it? I mean, forward planning is good and all, but two months in advance? Unless CNN has said that a temporal distortion will suddenly flush the rest of March and the whole of April down the cosmic toilet bringing us straight into May, why plan so far ahead? Buuut, who am I to judge? I can hardly plan getting Art coursework done over a single weekend. Not that that bothers me too much. It's all a matter of being arsed, really, am I am terrible at being arsed. You know what else I suck at? NOT SUCKING. :D ...... Wow, I confused everyone for a second there. Felt good.
Last thing: THE WORLD AIN'T GONNA END IN 2012. This is for a number of reasons:
1) 2012 is when I finish 6th form. If the world ends I will have wasted my life. NOT ON MY WATCH. I WOULD TRACK DOWN THIS MYSTERIOUS CAUSE TO THE END OF THE WORLD HEADBUTT IT IN THE FACE. WE'RE ALL SAVED. THE END.
2) Who the hell believes a 9000-year-old or whatever calender that states that the world will end? Okay, so maybe their previous end-of-the-world dates were accurate enough (that's right, they had SEVERAL) but they were only about the fall of the Roman Empire and such things, the world essentially never EXPLODED according to them, unlike in that BOAWSHIZ movie that the same dude who made Independence Day is working on. Nuts to him, I bet he just has a fetish for blowing up American landmarks and makes entire shoddy movies about it. Yeah, I'd headbutt him in the face too. THE END. What a complete waste of money I must add: making a whole movie based on a complete LIE. That's like making a movie about the Abominable Snowman, or the Loch Ness Monster.
Heck, if anything we should be worried about 2015; that's when our old friend 1991AD comes along. Or whatever it's called. You know, the one that zoomed past Earth juring the Japan World Cup that no-one cared about despite it threatened our very exidtence with another Ice Age?........ Ugh, hold on..... *Googles* What the... I can't even find it! God dammit, everyone's too busy watching football and whining about what will apparently happen in 2012 to see the actual danger!
Eh, never mind, there's only a 1/300 chance of collision, so never mind, continue not caring. As will I.
Good night.
Sunday, 7 March 2010
ASKGFSADGAFGD A NEAR WHOLE MONTH WITHOUT A BLOG POST?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEE
uwaaaaaah uwaaaah, oh I'm so fat and sad and fat and sad and I can think of fourty reasons why
HAH just kidding Jordy, now get back to your english classwork, Aaron thinks you're VERY IMMATURE >:V
Personal callouts aside, it's about time I got to making a new blog post seeing as so many people have been asking for it and that it's been so long. (probably 21 days, being the second half of February and the first week of March HURR I'm so smart when it comes to irrelevant information! :V)
Okay, first: let's talk about FRIEEEEEEENDSHIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!! (at this point rainbows pour out of my mouth in a powerful beam incinerating anything that happens to be in my way including a few unfortunate pigeons and the postman) .......Oops, sorry Pat.
Okay, maybe not exactly just friendship, I guess society in general. Stepping into the social limelight out of the blackness of the computer room, there has been a question I pose myself every once in a while (because I love confusing myself about things and pondering for ages, hence the name of the blog) which is: Am I Turning Into a Mindless Conformist? By that I mean, am I turning into a slave of society constantly trying to be as cool as possible by drinking, wasting away on expensive branded clothing and wanting to be as skinny as a toothpick? Gazemaze in gazemazement as I ponder away!
...
...
...
...
...
nah.
Seriously though, I don't think the need to be 100% conforming with society will ever possess me and destroy me from within because I'm responsible. Heck, I haven't really reached ANY kind of social position where I need to be responsible. All I do is hang around certain people and receive little to no interaction, occasionally pitching in the "What's everyone doing tomorrow?" or "Has anyone played Duke Nukem before?" getting nothing more than a one word answer (two if I'm lucky) or just an awkward look that I can decipher as a negative response. Having not interacted with people for so long, I can understand I'm not exactly greeted like a king, and I have to work my way up the social ladder slowly, hoping for results. And if I try to make it happen hard enough, mabe I'll get it. Until then, no party invites for Ben. :'(
If I ever reach such a stage of society where I regularly go out with friends to the local chippy or what have you (and that would be REALLY awesome) you would beware the restrictions that I have placed on my life: I don't drink beverages of the alcoholic variety. That's right. I like to keep my brain in a usually mint condition and not kill my brain cells (which isn't exactly saying much since I watch Youtube Poops and other breeds of outright retarded junk). Besides, alcohol can mess you up, perhaps not to the degree of drugs like Heroin, Cocaine and Acid, but I like to play it safe. And hey, here's a thought; when I learn how to drive an auto-vehicle and I'm at a party, everyone else can drink because I'd always be the one bearing the oh-so-terrible (for the rest of you) alcohol-free title of Designated Driver! (I hope you're taking notes here party people, there's more benefits to me than meets the eye (man, I sure am typing in brackets a whole lot (I just noticed.)))
Okay, I can't just say "UMG YEW DRENK ALKOHOUL?!?!? WHAI WULD YU DO THAT I MEAN ITS STUPID!!!! BLARALRLARLAR PLOP", because anyway that's just whining about something that's been part of British culture for years. Heck, Mrs Spooner told me that. So I won't make any seething comments or assumptions on what you folks get up to without bringing me along. The point is that I won't take up crack from any old lowlife in a dark alley just to be cool, and I'll have to be using more convoluted and less self-destructive ways of becoming KING OF ALL METAL or whatever.
"Alright Mr Schmansy Fants," I hear you say (except maybe in a more intelligent fashion than that,) "What do you drink?" I drink Diet Coke. It works for me. It rots my teeth, but that's why we invented toothpaste. And there's no toothpaste to cure your hangover. That's that.
Another thing I've noticed is that human nature has a habit of looking at things and saying "I want to do something but it takes effort. I know, I wil INVENT A ROBOT THAT WILL DO IT FOR ME". By this I mean is that we are extremely lazy compared to how we were countless ages ago. As neanderthals, we had to go out and kill something in order to get food (or just eat bushes if we were vegetarian). Now, we have places like Tesco, Morrisons, ASDA, Aldi and countless emporiums to get our food from a cold shelf, rather than bearing its fangs and snarling at us (or being a bush). Okay, so that's a good thing, and I suppose that the whole point of technology is to make life easier for ourselves. But then, there are just some things that never should have come to see the light of day and stayed in the black abyss of mystery it arose from. I am of course talking about DRUGS. (subject change from alcohol to drugs? I can be more creative than that!)
I don't mean stuff like Paracetamol, Cocodamol and Strepsils: those are good drugs, they help us by curing headaches, sore throats and taking some suffering out of our lives until our eventual death. What I'm talking about are EVIL drugs. The drugs of the DARK SIDE. Cocaine, ecstacy, acid, heroin, and cigarretes. What is the point?
These drugs exploit our need to put our confidence in other things rather than ourselves (kind of like religion, except not drugs) and we throw away all hope of achieving anything as a human being for what exactly? To get high.
I have my faith in the power of a single human body: I bet you there is NOTHING we can risk our lives with through the use of other things that we can just as well accomplish with our own power or belief. Did you know that there is a medical technique called a placebo that doctors use to make their patients better just by making them THINK and believe that they're better? Drugs aren't necessary in our lives. The emotions that they cause us to experience is all within us to begin with, and if the people who had fallen into their trap didn't have to. There are much safer natural ways to receive a high, like falling in love or eating chocolate. That's right, chocolate and love gives you a high. Take it from me, I've read books in my time. Strange books, but the writers seem to know what they're on about.
That's all. (Need more jokes in my next post that will definitely be within the next 10-14 days or I will stab myself with a spoon)
HAH just kidding Jordy, now get back to your english classwork, Aaron thinks you're VERY IMMATURE >:V
Personal callouts aside, it's about time I got to making a new blog post seeing as so many people have been asking for it and that it's been so long. (probably 21 days, being the second half of February and the first week of March HURR I'm so smart when it comes to irrelevant information! :V)
Okay, first: let's talk about FRIEEEEEEENDSHIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!! (at this point rainbows pour out of my mouth in a powerful beam incinerating anything that happens to be in my way including a few unfortunate pigeons and the postman) .......Oops, sorry Pat.
Okay, maybe not exactly just friendship, I guess society in general. Stepping into the social limelight out of the blackness of the computer room, there has been a question I pose myself every once in a while (because I love confusing myself about things and pondering for ages, hence the name of the blog) which is: Am I Turning Into a Mindless Conformist? By that I mean, am I turning into a slave of society constantly trying to be as cool as possible by drinking, wasting away on expensive branded clothing and wanting to be as skinny as a toothpick? Gazemaze in gazemazement as I ponder away!
...
...
...
...
...
nah.
Seriously though, I don't think the need to be 100% conforming with society will ever possess me and destroy me from within because I'm responsible. Heck, I haven't really reached ANY kind of social position where I need to be responsible. All I do is hang around certain people and receive little to no interaction, occasionally pitching in the "What's everyone doing tomorrow?" or "Has anyone played Duke Nukem before?" getting nothing more than a one word answer (two if I'm lucky) or just an awkward look that I can decipher as a negative response. Having not interacted with people for so long, I can understand I'm not exactly greeted like a king, and I have to work my way up the social ladder slowly, hoping for results. And if I try to make it happen hard enough, mabe I'll get it. Until then, no party invites for Ben. :'(
If I ever reach such a stage of society where I regularly go out with friends to the local chippy or what have you (and that would be REALLY awesome) you would beware the restrictions that I have placed on my life: I don't drink beverages of the alcoholic variety. That's right. I like to keep my brain in a usually mint condition and not kill my brain cells (which isn't exactly saying much since I watch Youtube Poops and other breeds of outright retarded junk). Besides, alcohol can mess you up, perhaps not to the degree of drugs like Heroin, Cocaine and Acid, but I like to play it safe. And hey, here's a thought; when I learn how to drive an auto-vehicle and I'm at a party, everyone else can drink because I'd always be the one bearing the oh-so-terrible (for the rest of you) alcohol-free title of Designated Driver! (I hope you're taking notes here party people, there's more benefits to me than meets the eye (man, I sure am typing in brackets a whole lot (I just noticed.)))
Okay, I can't just say "UMG YEW DRENK ALKOHOUL?!?!? WHAI WULD YU DO THAT I MEAN ITS STUPID!!!! BLARALRLARLAR PLOP", because anyway that's just whining about something that's been part of British culture for years. Heck, Mrs Spooner told me that. So I won't make any seething comments or assumptions on what you folks get up to without bringing me along. The point is that I won't take up crack from any old lowlife in a dark alley just to be cool, and I'll have to be using more convoluted and less self-destructive ways of becoming KING OF ALL METAL or whatever.
"Alright Mr Schmansy Fants," I hear you say (except maybe in a more intelligent fashion than that,) "What do you drink?" I drink Diet Coke. It works for me. It rots my teeth, but that's why we invented toothpaste. And there's no toothpaste to cure your hangover. That's that.
Another thing I've noticed is that human nature has a habit of looking at things and saying "I want to do something but it takes effort. I know, I wil INVENT A ROBOT THAT WILL DO IT FOR ME". By this I mean is that we are extremely lazy compared to how we were countless ages ago. As neanderthals, we had to go out and kill something in order to get food (or just eat bushes if we were vegetarian). Now, we have places like Tesco, Morrisons, ASDA, Aldi and countless emporiums to get our food from a cold shelf, rather than bearing its fangs and snarling at us (or being a bush). Okay, so that's a good thing, and I suppose that the whole point of technology is to make life easier for ourselves. But then, there are just some things that never should have come to see the light of day and stayed in the black abyss of mystery it arose from. I am of course talking about DRUGS. (subject change from alcohol to drugs? I can be more creative than that!)
I don't mean stuff like Paracetamol, Cocodamol and Strepsils: those are good drugs, they help us by curing headaches, sore throats and taking some suffering out of our lives until our eventual death. What I'm talking about are EVIL drugs. The drugs of the DARK SIDE. Cocaine, ecstacy, acid, heroin, and cigarretes. What is the point?
These drugs exploit our need to put our confidence in other things rather than ourselves (kind of like religion, except not drugs) and we throw away all hope of achieving anything as a human being for what exactly? To get high.
I have my faith in the power of a single human body: I bet you there is NOTHING we can risk our lives with through the use of other things that we can just as well accomplish with our own power or belief. Did you know that there is a medical technique called a placebo that doctors use to make their patients better just by making them THINK and believe that they're better? Drugs aren't necessary in our lives. The emotions that they cause us to experience is all within us to begin with, and if the people who had fallen into their trap didn't have to. There are much safer natural ways to receive a high, like falling in love or eating chocolate. That's right, chocolate and love gives you a high. Take it from me, I've read books in my time. Strange books, but the writers seem to know what they're on about.
That's all. (Need more jokes in my next post that will definitely be within the next 10-14 days or I will stab myself with a spoon)
Sunday, 14 February 2010
Osrtraaaaaaaaleugh.
Oi mates, it's Bin Peddock postin' frum Ostraaaaaleuh! Wei've jast gawt Internet workin at our 'Otel 'Partmint and Oi'm gunna git a powst 'bout Valintoimes Dai!
My God, I never realised how hard it was to type in a convincing Australian accent. I think I'll save myself the embarrassment and type normally now because I really don't think it's worth it. Anyhows, HI. Unlike my last post I actually have a subject to talk about (in fact two) so I should be able to plow through this. Oh but first this.
FUN FACT: I'm about to post this and decided to check the time and it says that it's 7:16 in the evening. I also see that on my brother's computer clock (who he's been to lazy to change to Australian time since we arrived) that for you guys in East Anglia right now the time is apparently about 11:16 am. Woah, does this mean I'm in the future? (I just updated this so that the joke on the next line made sense and I hadn't confused you by having the time about 44 minutes out and given you the time for when I completed and posted this.)
Anyway, you people of the past are probably slightly interested about my journey here. I may be mistaken, but I don't believe I am hated that much to assume that. Perhaps by myself, but not you guys. We arrived in Australia about 1 am on Saturday after three straight days of travelling from Wednesday. The whole travelling process was in about six steps. It went something like this:
1. Get to the taxi that drives you to the train station
2. Get a train at the train station to take you to the underground station
3. Take the underground train thingy at the underground station to ANOTHER TRAIN
Jeez, we're getting on a lot of vehicles here.
4. Take the OTHER TRAIN to the Airport Shuttle to take us to Gatwick Airport
Ugh.
5. Get the gosh-damned plane at Gatwick to fly us NOT to Australia, but to Dubai in Arabia that acts as a mid-point between the UK and Australia for some strange reason
JEEBUS CRIPES ARE WE THERE YET?!
Nearly! Just ten more hours on the Dubai flight!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Look, they gave you food and movies to watch for free!
The food tasted funny, kind of.
Oh, well that's probably you just being racist.
You're racist!
Your mom's a racist!
Oh that is it! Come get some you non-indented little Justin Bieber fanatic!
Oh no you didn't!
FIGHT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
NYAAAAAAAARGH
UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGARGAHGJKDA
*10 hours later*
(Fade in from black. Indented Text is banging Non-Indented Text's head against a desk)
DING! Welcome to Australia finally!
.........Yay! Come on Non-indented Text!
Uugh, my face...
Come on you! The Angels don't wait for slowpokes! La la la la la
Okay, that was off one hell of a tangent. Either way, the journey was long and aggravating and I never got to bang anyone's head against a desk, so it wasn't entertaining either. Well, I watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Wall-E and A Bug's Life which strangely enough was a movie that I watched as a dumb kid about every day for about 6 months that I still remembered hardly anything about. Those movies were good anyway but with a total of 18 hours plane journey with some baby crying and yelling for the whole BOTH plane journeys depriving me of sleep and the rest of my sanity, they didn't EXACTLY make up for it much.
But now I'm here and it's all good now because I never have to do that ever again oh wait a minute CRAPDAMNIT.
Well while we're here, we have a nice hotel room with ham and cereal and crap and a nice view that faces the Indian ocenan that we spent long grueling hours flying over, strangely enough. Our "body clocks" were shot to pieces from two sleepless nights on bloody planes and I ended up going to bed in the early afternoon of about four. The rest of us woke up about midnight to fireworks (that were obviously there to celebrate our arrival, hurr huurrrr) that also helped us because it woke us up so we could stay up a couple hours so that we could go to sleep again and wake up at a more appropriate time.
We've spent the day (that you people of the past have yet to experience o_O) going to a wildlife park to see all of Australia's weird-ass inhabitants such as the Wonga Pigeon, the Imperial Pigeon, the Crested Pigeon, Shut Up About Pigeons Ben, You Don't Want To Alert The Pigeon Boy Cultists By Resurfacing Your Interest In Pigeons, moving swiftly on, The Blue Tounged Lizard, the Pottoro, the Kangaroo, the Wallaby, the Dingo, the Koala, the Peacock, the Peahen, the Emu, the Wombat, the Spotted Quoll, the Casawary, and a multitude of parrots and a whole load of other stuff I can't possibly remember. But we have pictures that will be uploaded on Facebook shortly either on James' or my Facebook wall. Don't expect to see them now until I give the word later.
Oh bugger, this post was supposed to be about Valentine's Day. Let's cut this short since this has been one hell of a post.
Love. What does it mean? I dunno, it could mean a lot of things.
Well that's enough, bye now. GOD DAMMIT I'M JUST TOO LAZY.
My God, I never realised how hard it was to type in a convincing Australian accent. I think I'll save myself the embarrassment and type normally now because I really don't think it's worth it. Anyhows, HI. Unlike my last post I actually have a subject to talk about (in fact two) so I should be able to plow through this. Oh but first this.
FUN FACT: I'm about to post this and decided to check the time and it says that it's 7:16 in the evening. I also see that on my brother's computer clock (who he's been to lazy to change to Australian time since we arrived) that for you guys in East Anglia right now the time is apparently about 11:16 am. Woah, does this mean I'm in the future? (I just updated this so that the joke on the next line made sense and I hadn't confused you by having the time about 44 minutes out and given you the time for when I completed and posted this.)
Anyway, you people of the past are probably slightly interested about my journey here. I may be mistaken, but I don't believe I am hated that much to assume that. Perhaps by myself, but not you guys. We arrived in Australia about 1 am on Saturday after three straight days of travelling from Wednesday. The whole travelling process was in about six steps. It went something like this:
1. Get to the taxi that drives you to the train station
2. Get a train at the train station to take you to the underground station
3. Take the underground train thingy at the underground station to ANOTHER TRAIN
Jeez, we're getting on a lot of vehicles here.
4. Take the OTHER TRAIN to the Airport Shuttle to take us to Gatwick Airport
Ugh.
5. Get the gosh-damned plane at Gatwick to fly us NOT to Australia, but to Dubai in Arabia that acts as a mid-point between the UK and Australia for some strange reason
JEEBUS CRIPES ARE WE THERE YET?!
Nearly! Just ten more hours on the Dubai flight!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Look, they gave you food and movies to watch for free!
The food tasted funny, kind of.
Oh, well that's probably you just being racist.
You're racist!
Your mom's a racist!
Oh that is it! Come get some you non-indented little Justin Bieber fanatic!
Oh no you didn't!
FIGHT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
NYAAAAAAAARGH
UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGARGAHGJKDA
*10 hours later*
(Fade in from black. Indented Text is banging Non-Indented Text's head against a desk)
DING! Welcome to Australia finally!
.........Yay! Come on Non-indented Text!
Uugh, my face...
Come on you! The Angels don't wait for slowpokes! La la la la la
Okay, that was off one hell of a tangent. Either way, the journey was long and aggravating and I never got to bang anyone's head against a desk, so it wasn't entertaining either. Well, I watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Wall-E and A Bug's Life which strangely enough was a movie that I watched as a dumb kid about every day for about 6 months that I still remembered hardly anything about. Those movies were good anyway but with a total of 18 hours plane journey with some baby crying and yelling for the whole BOTH plane journeys depriving me of sleep and the rest of my sanity, they didn't EXACTLY make up for it much.
But now I'm here and it's all good now because I never have to do that ever again oh wait a minute CRAPDAMNIT.
Well while we're here, we have a nice hotel room with ham and cereal and crap and a nice view that faces the Indian ocenan that we spent long grueling hours flying over, strangely enough. Our "body clocks" were shot to pieces from two sleepless nights on bloody planes and I ended up going to bed in the early afternoon of about four. The rest of us woke up about midnight to fireworks (that were obviously there to celebrate our arrival, hurr huurrrr) that also helped us because it woke us up so we could stay up a couple hours so that we could go to sleep again and wake up at a more appropriate time.
We've spent the day (that you people of the past have yet to experience o_O) going to a wildlife park to see all of Australia's weird-ass inhabitants such as the Wonga Pigeon, the Imperial Pigeon, the Crested Pigeon, Shut Up About Pigeons Ben, You Don't Want To Alert The Pigeon Boy Cultists By Resurfacing Your Interest In Pigeons, moving swiftly on, The Blue Tounged Lizard, the Pottoro, the Kangaroo, the Wallaby, the Dingo, the Koala, the Peacock, the Peahen, the Emu, the Wombat, the Spotted Quoll, the Casawary, and a multitude of parrots and a whole load of other stuff I can't possibly remember. But we have pictures that will be uploaded on Facebook shortly either on James' or my Facebook wall. Don't expect to see them now until I give the word later.
Oh bugger, this post was supposed to be about Valentine's Day. Let's cut this short since this has been one hell of a post.
Love. What does it mean? I dunno, it could mean a lot of things.
Well that's enough, bye now. GOD DAMMIT I'M JUST TOO LAZY.
Thursday, 31 December 2009
On the brink of the New Year. Last post of '09!
Well, this is it. It's that time of year when the Earth completes another orbit around the Sun that we like to celebrate for some queer reason. I guess it's a time to look back at all the things that have happened over the year and think about how to better ourselves for the new year, making a fresh start.
365 days is a long, LONG time, possibly too long for me to remember every single thing I've achieved and lost, even with my memory of half a super-computer (my brother's being the other half), but I know I've still accomplished great things this year.
I've had a near-death experience (or at least an OH JESUS I'M FCKED experience) in a back garden swimming pool, I've pryed my flabby ass off the computers in F4 and started talking to people in school (although that ginger dude wasn't making it very easy) I've lost 11lbs since last year according to Wii Fit, I was verbally raped by a slavering retard minion summoned from the 9th circle of Hell to ask me which came first out of the egg and the chicken, and I watched as Miss Cox had a nervous breakdown when I told her that I didn't give half a barbecued camel foot about what I got for my Art exam grade and wanted to do what I wanted, rather than being ordered around by her and being forced to do my final piece TWICE because I hadn't "done a good smoke effect" or whatever her excuse was. Ah, it's been one hell of a 365-day planetary cycle. (That means year for those of you who don't speak technobabble.)
So, what's on the Awesome agenda for next year? Well, same old really. Lose some weight, get good grades, talk to people more, maybe get a girlfriend, and punch "Josh" in his stupid dumb face for setting that hellish maniac on me who I addressed in the last paragraph, among the rest of his legion of mindless Year 7-9 minions. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Ah, another thing to look to the future for is the release of some new vidjeo games! For 2010, StarCraft II after its half-year delay, and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 for Aaron and his crazy PS3 (crazily expensive, that is). I bet a whole bunch more of cool stuff is going to hit us next year, like Bioshock 2 and the like.
And for anyone else, I wish the best that the Fates can bring you for next year. Have a good New Year's Party, and don't get too boozed up and hurt yourself! It's so humiliating.
As for me, there's a Creme Egg sitting on my desk that is about to be imminently devoured. Oops, I already ate it. Way to kill the joke, Me.
Whatever, I'll just pretend I didn't and I'll just eat it again.
Here's to the new year! OM NOM NOM NOM
delicious.
365 days is a long, LONG time, possibly too long for me to remember every single thing I've achieved and lost, even with my memory of half a super-computer (my brother's being the other half), but I know I've still accomplished great things this year.
I've had a near-death experience (or at least an OH JESUS I'M FCKED experience) in a back garden swimming pool, I've pryed my flabby ass off the computers in F4 and started talking to people in school (although that ginger dude wasn't making it very easy) I've lost 11lbs since last year according to Wii Fit, I was verbally raped by a slavering retard minion summoned from the 9th circle of Hell to ask me which came first out of the egg and the chicken, and I watched as Miss Cox had a nervous breakdown when I told her that I didn't give half a barbecued camel foot about what I got for my Art exam grade and wanted to do what I wanted, rather than being ordered around by her and being forced to do my final piece TWICE because I hadn't "done a good smoke effect" or whatever her excuse was. Ah, it's been one hell of a 365-day planetary cycle. (That means year for those of you who don't speak technobabble.)
So, what's on the Awesome agenda for next year? Well, same old really. Lose some weight, get good grades, talk to people more, maybe get a girlfriend, and punch "Josh" in his stupid dumb face for setting that hellish maniac on me who I addressed in the last paragraph, among the rest of his legion of mindless Year 7-9 minions. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Ah, another thing to look to the future for is the release of some new vidjeo games! For 2010, StarCraft II after its half-year delay, and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 for Aaron and his crazy PS3 (crazily expensive, that is). I bet a whole bunch more of cool stuff is going to hit us next year, like Bioshock 2 and the like.
And for anyone else, I wish the best that the Fates can bring you for next year. Have a good New Year's Party, and don't get too boozed up and hurt yourself! It's so humiliating.
As for me, there's a Creme Egg sitting on my desk that is about to be imminently devoured. Oops, I already ate it. Way to kill the joke, Me.
Whatever, I'll just pretend I didn't and I'll just eat it again.
Here's to the new year! OM NOM NOM NOM
delicious.
Friday, 18 December 2009
Obligatory Christmas Post to keep the blog alive
SCHOOOOOOOOL'S OUT - FOR - CHRISTMAS!
SCHOOOOOOOOL'S OUT - FOR - TWO WEEKS!
MY SCHOOL'S - CLOSED DOWN, WITH - SNOWIIING...
Okay, enough Alice Cooper. It's Christmas, and the holy wards of Christmas spirit have driven away the evils of school for the time being. That, and Kathryn made a really cool snowman.
Well, what's been up? Nothing much as usual over here in my world, as I mostly made this blog to try and get into the habit of posting on this here blog on a regular basis, and keep you all informed on what mildy interesting topics I feel have to share with all of you, and to jump on the "HAY GUYS IN CASE YOU DIDENT NOTICE IT'S CHRISTMAS ETC ETC ETC" bandwagon, but I guess I could talk about my 6th form options and how something was meant to hapen today but Springwood had to freeze over like a total dumbass. That'll do.
So, I picked out my 6th form options and they would be Performing Arts, History and Media Studies. I have defected from dull and irrepressibly drab and awful Drama for the following reason, typed out to you in script form:
Ben: Oh man oh man oh man I can't decide between Drama and Performing Arts and I need this piece of paper in by next Thursday!
Ben's Inner Reason: Hold up tough guy. Why don't you review the details in the booklets?
Ben: WHOAH WHO THE HELL ARE YOU
Ben's Inner Reason: <-- Read that.
Ben: Oh. Hi, Ben's Inner Reason. Also, good idea.
(Ben reads through the Drama booklet, coloured in black and grey)
Ben: (reading) "Drama is a subject in which pupils can study Drama from a variety of views, such as" WAIT. (goes back a little and reads it again) "...in which pupils can, STUDY, Drama, in..."
(...pause...)
Ben: OH MY GOOOOD, SCREW THAT!
(throws Drama booklet at the wall. It explodes in a flash of magnificent colours like a fireworks display. It spells out Eat at Joe's)
Ben: Okay let's see what Performing Arts is all about.
(the Performing Arts booklet takes the form of an extremely buff dude made of gold)
Performing Arts: HAY. YOU DUNNO WHAT SUBJECT YOU WANNA PICK, FOO?!
Ben: Well yeah, but uh...
PA: NO WAIT, SHUT UP A SECOND AIGHT?
Ben: Uh, ok.
PA: YOU REMEMBER THAT PERFORMANCE YOU DID AT THE CORN EXCHANGE? WINTER'S TALE? BLEW EVERYONE'S SOCKS OFF? THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL NO-ONE ABOUT IT COS YOU WERE AN IGNORANT FATASS?!
Ben: yes.
PA: YOU SHOULD PICK ME AS A SUBJECT! THAT'S WHERE ALL THE ACTION IS! YOU DON'T GET NO WRITTEN WORK OR STUDYIN' OR ESSAYS OR NOTHIN'! YOU'RE JUST ACTIN' ON STAGE LIKE IN WINTER'S TALE, TEARIN SHIZ UP AN' STUFF!
Ben: Sounds good to me.
PA: DAAAMN RIGHT MY WHITE PERSON
Ben: Would you quit talking in all caps? My viewer's reading voices in their heads are screaming.
PA: Yeah ok, sorry.
Ben: But thanks for making my decision a lot easier anyhow.
PA: Salright.
(PA turns back into a booklet. Ben stares at him for a second then grins evilly. He takes PA and puts him in the paper shredder)
PA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ben: (relaxed and grinning to himself) This settles things.
(loud applause. Ben bows and goes to the podium to collect his Awesome Award)
Ben Stiller (applauding in the audience): He's earned it.
Tom Cruise (next to Ben Stiller in the audience): I'll say.
Bloody hell, that was vain. Anyhow, that's what I picked for my options. For anyone else running away with me, I must say you made an excellent choice and I look forward to seeing you in 6th Form! If not and you're stay with Drama, good luck anyway with all the long and drawn-out boring essays and studying of what I should have been doing on stage all this time. On that note, good luck also to everyone in rehearsals for Kinetic and the Siege! Too bad I couldn't be there with you, but I guess something's always in the way of something I want to be a part of. For example, a lack of cash gets in the way of me wanting to be a part of having a Playstation 3!
Ah, the demands of a simple man. Why are they never met?
SCHOOOOOOOOL'S OUT - FOR - TWO WEEKS!
MY SCHOOL'S - CLOSED DOWN, WITH - SNOWIIING...
Okay, enough Alice Cooper. It's Christmas, and the holy wards of Christmas spirit have driven away the evils of school for the time being. That, and Kathryn made a really cool snowman.
Well, what's been up? Nothing much as usual over here in my world, as I mostly made this blog to try and get into the habit of posting on this here blog on a regular basis, and keep you all informed on what mildy interesting topics I feel have to share with all of you, and to jump on the "HAY GUYS IN CASE YOU DIDENT NOTICE IT'S CHRISTMAS ETC ETC ETC" bandwagon, but I guess I could talk about my 6th form options and how something was meant to hapen today but Springwood had to freeze over like a total dumbass. That'll do.
So, I picked out my 6th form options and they would be Performing Arts, History and Media Studies. I have defected from dull and irrepressibly drab and awful Drama for the following reason, typed out to you in script form:
Ben: Oh man oh man oh man I can't decide between Drama and Performing Arts and I need this piece of paper in by next Thursday!
Ben's Inner Reason: Hold up tough guy. Why don't you review the details in the booklets?
Ben: WHOAH WHO THE HELL ARE YOU
Ben's Inner Reason: <-- Read that.
Ben: Oh. Hi, Ben's Inner Reason. Also, good idea.
(Ben reads through the Drama booklet, coloured in black and grey)
Ben: (reading) "Drama is a subject in which pupils can study Drama from a variety of views, such as" WAIT. (goes back a little and reads it again) "...in which pupils can, STUDY, Drama, in..."
(...pause...)
Ben: OH MY GOOOOD, SCREW THAT!
(throws Drama booklet at the wall. It explodes in a flash of magnificent colours like a fireworks display. It spells out Eat at Joe's)
Ben: Okay let's see what Performing Arts is all about.
(the Performing Arts booklet takes the form of an extremely buff dude made of gold)
Performing Arts: HAY. YOU DUNNO WHAT SUBJECT YOU WANNA PICK, FOO?!
Ben: Well yeah, but uh...
PA: NO WAIT, SHUT UP A SECOND AIGHT?
Ben: Uh, ok.
PA: YOU REMEMBER THAT PERFORMANCE YOU DID AT THE CORN EXCHANGE? WINTER'S TALE? BLEW EVERYONE'S SOCKS OFF? THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL NO-ONE ABOUT IT COS YOU WERE AN IGNORANT FATASS?!
Ben: yes.
PA: YOU SHOULD PICK ME AS A SUBJECT! THAT'S WHERE ALL THE ACTION IS! YOU DON'T GET NO WRITTEN WORK OR STUDYIN' OR ESSAYS OR NOTHIN'! YOU'RE JUST ACTIN' ON STAGE LIKE IN WINTER'S TALE, TEARIN SHIZ UP AN' STUFF!
Ben: Sounds good to me.
PA: DAAAMN RIGHT MY WHITE PERSON
Ben: Would you quit talking in all caps? My viewer's reading voices in their heads are screaming.
PA: Yeah ok, sorry.
Ben: But thanks for making my decision a lot easier anyhow.
PA: Salright.
(PA turns back into a booklet. Ben stares at him for a second then grins evilly. He takes PA and puts him in the paper shredder)
PA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ben: (relaxed and grinning to himself) This settles things.
(loud applause. Ben bows and goes to the podium to collect his Awesome Award)
Ben Stiller (applauding in the audience): He's earned it.
Tom Cruise (next to Ben Stiller in the audience): I'll say.
Bloody hell, that was vain. Anyhow, that's what I picked for my options. For anyone else running away with me, I must say you made an excellent choice and I look forward to seeing you in 6th Form! If not and you're stay with Drama, good luck anyway with all the long and drawn-out boring essays and studying of what I should have been doing on stage all this time. On that note, good luck also to everyone in rehearsals for Kinetic and the Siege! Too bad I couldn't be there with you, but I guess something's always in the way of something I want to be a part of. For example, a lack of cash gets in the way of me wanting to be a part of having a Playstation 3!
Ah, the demands of a simple man. Why are they never met?
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